Do You Wish You Had Lived a Different Life?

Aug 27, 2021

What happens inside of us when we are self-critical? Where does that even begin? I’ve spent some time with this and for a couple of nights I would wake up around 2 or 3 and there would be this self-critical voice spinning around and around. The more it would spin, the more critical it would become.  

What would happen for me was a contraction, a kind of collapse inside of myself. As I woke up a little more, to actually pay attention in a new way, I recognized that this voice had a flavor to it. It was, “How could you?” So, there was shame in there, and as I sat with that, I could hear underneath that “How could you?” that there was deep grief inside of myself.  

This voice inside was listing all of the ways that I had failed as a mother. That’s really huge. My life’s dream when I was a little girl was to be a mother. So, it was rehashing all of those moments that I wanted...

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What Do You Say You Will Never Do Again?

Feb 19, 2021
Do you notice the patterns of your life? The patterns that drive your experiences. Your motivation, your inspiration. What do you do unconsciously? We all have different patterns that we have developed unconsciously. Those unconscious patterns are what drive our behavior. What’s really cool is when you’ve slowed down in your inner world, to notice what patterns you are having, to be curious about them and see whether they are serving your life or not. Unless we can notice the pattern; it will never change, instead, it will get more deeply embedded.
 
Some of us, when we were little, we experienced being shamed when we spoke up. Maybe by a teacher, a parent, or other kids. When that shame experience happened, it was so painful a part of us may have made an unconscious contract of, “I will never speak up again.” Then we may have the experience of having something we want to say but we automatically don’t speak up. It’s just what we do.
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Do You Have A Map For Difficult Dialogues?

Jan 22, 2021
Have you ever experienced communication gaps with others you’ve reached out to? You reach out with warmth, curiosity, and interest, trusting you are going to be met right there in mutuality, yet, what you get back is rather shocking.
 
What you get back is a harsh tone of voice, judgments, being told what to do and how to be. I had this experience recently and took time to be with it because my reaction got my attention. I shut down inside. I was shocked. My eyes widened, my face got tight and warm, my stomach clenched, and I noticed my breathing was shallow, and nearly stopped.
 
I recognized I was feeling shame and running the messages that I was less than. I was beginning to doubt and question myself around things that I actually feel very strongly about. Which is about staying in relationship. What I want to recognize is, that in the moment, how important it is to slow down and self-connect.
 
So, let me tell you a story. One of the first...
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