Have you ever been scared of the unknown? You know, feeling frightened and uncertain, not knowing what to do, or how to do it. Or even what “it” is. To be knocked off your center, and you can feel it in your bones. This fear that is just lurking there and then nothing feels safe.
For me, part of the worst of it is feels so all alone in the midst of it. With nowhere to turn for support, or it seems there is nowhere to turn for support.
I remember as a child when I would experience this, I would be scared what might be under my bed. Or, did you have any idea what might be in your closet in the middle of the night? And it’s dark when you have to get up to go to the bathroom. The hallway seemed so long, and cold, and lonely.
Sometimes those types of childhood fears can stay with us in our bones, in the shadows of our lives. Unless we have been blessed enough, or fortunate enough, or by chance we met another being that understood us. Someone that got us, and we could feel felt. In our bones.
You know that is possible. Regardless of what our fears may be, because there can be so many different kinds of fears that can be awakened within you. Maybe it’s something that somebody said, and then your mind just can’t stop thinking about it. It gets darker and scarier and actually terrifies you so you can’t sleep. Or you are afraid to sleep. It can become such a deeply embedded pattern that is painful.
Last night I had some worries come up. I had some things come up and some of the oddest dreams. In the midst of that whole experience, all of a sudden, I noticed my breath. I noticed I was holding my breath. In that moment something was awakened in me. My highest and best self that I’ve been having nurtured for years, I refer to this part as my Grandmother me, who’s warm and caring and so compassionate.
This warmth just comes in and I can feel it on my face, and it comes down through my heart. Then all of a sudden, I notice I’m breathing again. It’s like tapping into this inner light that I do believe we are all born with. Sometimes it needs to be kindled in a relationship of warmth with another, that understands right where you are at.
When you have that experience of being met right there, you start to learn how to come into presence. How to actually be in the unknown and be all right! Because we get to discover what life is, and we get to experience life alive and in the NOW, instead of getting lost in the patterns of the mind. Come back to your heart.
In your heart, this is where you get to know your truth, which is your voice, your expression in our world that is so needed. It’s so valuable.
And, we get to be accompanied by Spirit, who’s always here, always now. So, we are never alone, in that felt-sense way. There is this pool of quiet tranquility that you can abide in, that is really relaxing and when you sit in this place.
This is the place where the mind-sets that you have are, “I’m here. I am open hearted when my connection in my heart is with Source. I am present in the now. I’m alright with being in the unknown because I stay curious to see what might want to emerge in this moment, and to accompany that. That empowers me.
Some practices you could do, if you resonate with this experience at all, is practicing presence. The first step of that is to slow down and notice your breathing. If you are like me your breathing may be stopped. Or maybe it’s really shallow if you are frightened. That could be true. Then, notice where you are in your body, when you bring your attention to your body, where does your mind rest? Next, notice, what are you telling yourself? Start to hear the whispers of your past experiences that were unaccompanied. Or maybe they just need another round of being accompanied without being made wrong. Then, breathe into your body and notice what that’s like.
If you are willing to take the time, to do some practicing, there is a really simple technique that you could begin to use each day. I invite you to start this by lying down flat. As you lie there, close your eyes if you are willing, then be still. Until you can actually begin to hear your heartbeat. When you can hear your heartbeat, start to notice the rhythm of your own inner-being. Begin to count your heartbeat, until you get to 60. After you have counted 60 heartbeats, notice what it is like to be in your body. Just notice, and maybe journal your experience.